20 Reasons Why All Single Girls Should Learn to Love Themselves in Their 20s



The Heartbreak Hotel. We’ve all been there. We’ve checked in for a week or two. Some of us may have checked in for a few months, or maybe even longer. It seems that almost every 20-something girl has had her heart broken at least once in her little lifetime. Almost every girl has had to feel incomplete, or inadequate, after her asshole of a boyfriend cheated on her. Or left her because he ‘didn’t know where their relationship was going’ or ‘didn’t know what to do for the best’. There’s no way to sugar coat it – having your heart broken is the worst fucking thing in the entire world. It feels as if it has been pulled out from your chest, stamped on multiple times and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, that achingly painful place where your heart once sat happily is now empty, missing, non-existent. Having your heart broken is even more painful if you’re a girl in your 20s. You’ve not long finished college/uni, you’re starting to take your first steps into the land of full time work and you’re feeling like you’ve got your whole life together when – BAM – you lose the love of your life and suddenly your whole world turns upside down…

You don’t eat, you don’t sleep and you can barely get up in the morning. You have no feelings, no excitement about planning your weekends, no wish to eat anything nice for dinner, no desire to think ahead further than the end of the day because it seems pretty pointless if your other half/lifepartner/soulmate/ best friend isn’t there to be with you. But you know what girls, there is someone better to spend your time with, and plan your days with. Someone you remember all too well but have never really got to know properly, the one that has been there for you all along. That person is YOU. You are the one who needs to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get on with your life. Life is a gift, use it, live it, treat every day as if it’s your last, and don’t waste your tears on guys who just don’t deserve them. I know not all guys are out to break our hearts but, in my experience, sadly most of them are. Your number one priority should be yourself. The best way to move on from your heartbreak and rebuild your life is to start focusing on YOU. Learn to love yourself, and the rest will all fall in to place. Here’s why…


They see me strollin 🏃🏃 #Tenerife

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You’ll work out what you really like

This is so true. You’ll learn things about yourself you didn’t know, or had forgotten all that time ago. So you liked that restaurant because of it’s good food? WRONG – you liked that restaurant because you and him used to go there all the time. You don’t need to go back there again, find somewhere new, think about what it is that you ACTUALLY like and start doing the things YOU want to do.

… and what you don’t like

You’ll also realise that you don’t like a lot of stuff too, and that’s ok. It’s ok that you now hate that aftershave because it makes you think of him, and it’s ok that you no longer watch that TV show on Sky cos you used to watch it together on a Wednesday night. Go find yourself a new show to watch and make it your thing.

You’ll realise you can do whatever the hell you want

This is probably the single most important reason why you should learn to love yourself. I’m not saying you didn’t do what you wanted to before, but a relationship is all about give and take. It’s about compromise, and most of the time you probably let him watch the football instead of that new reality show because you didn’t want an argument, but look at you now! You have allllll the channels to yourself and can watch whatever takes your fancy. Or why not go all out and choose your next holiday? YOU can choose where you go: how long for, who with (or without), what you’ll do out there. The compromise is OVER and you’re an independent female who can conquer the world… I’m looking at you, miss solo traveller!

You’ll learn what’s important

When you get your heart broken you feel as if it’s the worst possible thing that could ever happen to you in your whole entire life. And yes, it sucks, it’s horrible and it’s awful and there’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. But then you realise that there are horrible, awful things happening every day in the world that are so much worse. People get ill, people die, people lose loved ones. People are in accidents, they’re at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in one split second their lives are over. Your life is not over. Yes, the life as you knew it is over, but your new one is only just beginning. You’re getting the chance to start all over again. So many people would give anything to have a second chance at life, so take it.  That’s when you realise the value of life, and how important it really is.

You’ll start looking after yourself

Loving yourself means that you’ll really understand your body, and your mind. You’ll know when you’re feeling sad and you’ll know how to make yourself feel better. Your body will listen to you. It will know when you’re getting overworked and will tell you when you need to chill out. Being by yourself is good for you, it enables you to enjoy your own company without the constant need to be surrounded by people, and this will do wonders for your self-esteem.

You’ll see things from a different point of view

Taking a step back and putting yourself first will allow you to look at things differently. With your new found confidence you’ll be looking at things from a totally different view point and will realise what really matters, and what really doesn’t matter at all.



You’ll give the best advice to people going through the same thing as you

You can now see things from another point of view, and this will enable you to offer so much advice to your girlfriends who are having a tough old time. Instead of letting them wallow in self-pity you’ll tell them to get their best dress on, fix a smile on their face and get out there and have a whole lotta fun.

You’ll stop wasting time on people who don’t deserve you

You learn who your real friends are when something shit happens to you. There will be the ones who want to find out what’s happened and will text you non-stop for days, but all they’re after is the latest gossip and before you know it they’ve dropped you like a tonne of bricks! Um, we have no room for gossips and bitches in our new lives – CYA.

You’ll start living life more spontaneously

Life is for living, grab it with both hands. Now that you’re focusing on number one there are so many more things you can go and do.

…and you’ll have the courage to do things you only dreamed of previously

Want to road trip across America? Do it – I did! Want to interrail round Europe? Do it – I did that too! Want to work a summer season abroad? Do it! Ok I haven’t done that yet, but it’s on my list 😉 Your new found confidence will allow you to be more spontaneous and your life will instantly become a thousand times more exciting than it was before.

You’ll stop getting hurt so easily

It’ll take some time, but you might want to meet someone again a few months or years down the line, and you’ll have learnt not to give yourself away so easily which will stop you getting so hurt! Us girls are good at protecting our feelings when we’ve been let down before, so this is one of the best things to come out of a heart break.

You’ll appreciate the little things

Who knew a long hot soak in the bath could be so good for the soul? Or that a relaxing face mask and a big bar of chocolate could boost your mood in a matter of minutes? These small things will do wonders for your self-esteem, and your happiness levels will be up in no time.



You’ll stop comparing your life to others…

It’s so easy to do this when you’re under confident, particularly when you’ve had your heart broken. You’re looking at all these couples settling down, having babies and getting engaged – WHO NEEDS TO SEE THAT ON THEIR FACEBOOK?! Admittedly, there is a (tiny) part of us are happy for them, but the other part of us just wants to wallow in self-pity and ignore all the happiness going on around us. Once you’ve ‘found yourself’ you’ll be able to deal with this whole comparison thing and you’ll see that, although you’re not getting married or having kids anytime soon, you’re debt free, don’t have to worry about bills and can live your frikkin life. As I’m literally the only single person in my entire friendship group, this is something I can completely relate to!

…and you won’t care what people think about yours

Say goodbye to those insecurities, the constant worry of what people think about you or are saying behind your back. When you’re full of self-love and confidence you’ll realise that none of these things matter and can focus on what you care and think about, not what these people think about you.

You won’t care about things that don’t matter

As your confidence grows, you’ll stop giving a crap about things that don’t matter, and this will come from knowing yourself and what your priorities are.

You’ll be way more fun than the person you were before

Part of the reason learning to love yourself is so great is that you’ll just appreciate and enjoy things way more than you did before. You’ll find new things to get excited about, new people to meet and new places to go, and you’ll have so much fun along the way.

Your confidence will double

Hey miss sassy pants, yea I’m talking to you! Own your new life and make it the best it can possibly be. Confidence is SUCH an attractive trait, and you’ll have the guys queuing up.



You’ll become your own best friend, but your mum will still be your rock

So you’ll be spending lots of time by yourself, and that’s amazing and you’re the only person you think you’ll need, but you do need other people too. Like your mum – she’ll be your go-to if you’re having a down day, or just want someone to moan to. And your friends and family members are important too – don’t shut them out. They were complete rocks to me when my world fell apart, and they’ll never realise just how much they helped me.

You’ll become bigger and better than ever before…

If you can dream it, you can do it. You’re going to have the most amazing life, and you have the most amazing future ahead of you, so dream big princess! If I can do it, you most certainly can.

… and you’ll finally feel 1000x happier

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher. Put your best dress on and slip into those stilettos. Take that new profile pic and show everyone what you’re made of. Look good for yourself, no one else, you don’t need to impress anyone. In the words of Bieber – maybe you should go and love yourself. You got this girl, now go get your amazing life back.

All the single ladiesssss.

PS. All of these things have happened to me… And I have totally turned my life around. Living proof that learning to love yourself is the only thing a girl needs.



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5 replies
  1. EmilyRLThompson
    EmilyRLThompson says:

    Thank you for sharing hun, really good advice. Although I’be single for a while I reckon I am only halfway through the process but what you are saying is spot on xx

    • jessicalousie1601
      jessicalousie1601 says:

      I’m soo glad you like the post Emily, and that you can relate to it too! Time is the biggest healer – I promise everything will get better 🙂 Jess x

  2. JourneyswithJessica
    JourneyswithJessica says:

    Thanks for your comment Emily! Ahh it’s such a long process and it takes so much time, but hopefully these words have give you some positivity and helped a little! Time is the biggest healer <3 xx

  3. Rand0mg4l
    Rand0mg4l says:

    Absolutely LOVEEEEE this post! I’m currently bookmarking this for a time I might need a big reminder 💗 Will be recommending this post to people if they get in this slump ☺️

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